Cult Mechanicus Painting Guide: Crusaders of the Machine God

All right, as I said yesterday, I was going to write a post on the fluff inside the Cult Mechanicus Painting Guide: Crusaders of the Machine God. It contains 3 stories about 3 different characters and their forge worlds, which I will summarize and talk about below. As I can't find any articles written about them in the Warhammer 40K wiki or even 1d4chan, I will write a post regarding them for anyone who wants more information. I doubt anyone will use this post for the wiki articles, but hey. At least this entry will show up on Google when anyone wants to search for who Magos Emperygen Kryptaesrex, Magos Hexterramere Vorght and the evil Magos Ozermadus Phal are. Oh, and the lovable Furator 9-Dhul too.

The Emperygenic Congregation

This story is about Emperygen Kryptaesrex, a Tech-priest Dominus from Mars. Basically, the story begins when a Stygian explorator fleet scavenges on a swamp planet called Exhubris II and raid the ancient tombs a la Tomb Raider (just without Lara Croft), only to disturb the Eldar of Craftworld Ulthwe. The annoying xenos pour out of the webway to get in the way of our inquisitive and intellectual tech-priests for no reason other than because they're xenos scum, and basically shit hits the fan. The Stygian Explorator forces are quickly overwhelmed, the Skitarii warriors bravely holding the last line, and the Magos in charge sends SOS into the void.

Emperygen Kryptaesrex, a Tech-priest Dominus from Mars (I suspect he's ranked Archmagos at least, but they want to force the dude in line with the codex rules), receives it, and instead of thinking, "we should help our Adeptus Mechanicus Brothers for the Greater Good!", is more interested in the webways the Eldar are opening. He's like, "hell, yeah! Screw the dudes from Stygies, let's go raid the Eldar tombs and steal xenos technology!" The Eldar tech he's particularly invested in is the webways because he's already a master of the Warp engines and geller fields - an Immaterium Mechanist, so to speak. But he's curious on how the Eldar manage to jump up and down between worlds and disppear like the ninja ripoffs they were, and he knew it has something to do with the webways. The fact that the webways protect the Eldar from the baleful energies of the Warp is an added bonus.

Long story short, Magos Kryptaesrex lands on Exhubris II, thrashed the Eldar trash infesting the place with his Kataphron Destroyers and Kastelan robots, captures the webway after his Kastelan robots pummel an insolent Wraithlord into messy wraithbone pieces, and proceeds to study it. As usual, Warhammer 40K leaves the thing open-ended, but we all know Magos Kryptaesrex finally has a webway in his hands, which means he'll be able to recreate the energies that power the webway and begin to build his own versions for the Imperium. All hail the Omnissiah! WOOHOO! Adeptus Mechanicus forces and Skitarii pouring out of webways and then disappearing as mysteriously as the Eldar! I would like to see that! We don't need those Flesh Tearer drop pods anymore!

The Xenophagist Expedition

Uh, what? A Xenophagest (what the hell does Xenophagest/Xenophagist mean? And why two different spellings? Is it an e or an i? Make up your mind, Games Workshop) named Hexterramere Vorght (don't you just love their naming sense) is seeeking out the Orks' homeworld, which the Adeptus Mechanicus has dubbed Orkadia. For some reason, Vorght is obsessed with the Orks' geno-form because he believes it has clues as to where their homeworld is. I'm no biologist, but I'm pretty sure studying the genetic code of an alien will not bring clues to which planet it came from. Then again, I'm out of my depth, so whatever. Anyway, Magos Vorght goes around wrecking xenos shit, destroying Orks on Ryza, then flies out of Ryza because he thinks he can find Orkadia, and ends up in a skirmish with Eldar Corsairs, only to crush them under the treads of his Kataphron Destroyers and metallic feet of his Kastelan robots. Yippee.

For some reason, Hexterramere Vorght (why can't he Mechanicus just stick to simple names?) thinks that by locating the Ork's homeworld, he will be able to eradicate them. Uh...no? I don't know how that works, but even if you destroy Orkadia, it's not as if all the Orks throughout the galaxy will spontaneously combust or something. Such convenient miracles don't fit into the grimdark realism of the Warhammer 40K universe. Anyway, his obsession leads him to leave his planet Ryza even though it's being besieged by Orks, and goes to the stars in search of the homeworld...even though he could just create a gene-bomb that targets Orks' genes with all that genetic information he gleaned off dissections and stuff. Argh.

A special guest appearance by the Kastelan robot named Furator 9-Dhul, because for some reason Games Workshop think a Kastelan robot would be important. Anyway, this poor guy hails from the now severely depleted Dhul X Cyberkastel Cohort, who has fought Daemons from the Warp, then Eldar pirates, and then Orks. Oh, and laser-clawed alien constructs ibn the Ghoul Stars (what? Never heard of them). It used to have 24 robots before the Age of Strife, but they were down to 10 after the numerous skirmishes with Eldar pirates. Don't be a pirate, and don't pirate Games Workshop products, faithful servants, uh, customers of the Imperium! By the time the disastrous Ghoul Stars expedition was over, only 6 Kastelan robots returned to Ryza. And then the Orks came and they wrecked 4 more, and only 2 were left. Furator almost died, but Magos Vorght saved him by welding the spare parts of his destroyed brothers into his frame. Way to go, Vorght!

In the end...they still haven't found Orkadia, and they're still searching for it. Dude...just come home. Ryza needs you.

The Bioextinction Congregation

This is about a douche called Ozmerhadus Phal, a Magos from Metalica, who seeks to eradicate flesh and all biological life-forms from the galaxy to achieve his machine perfection. Hey! Respected the revered fields of your colleagues, the Magos Biologis! Anyway, this asshole goes around destroying planets and rendering their atmospheres sterile and unliveable, eradicating entire ecosystems and scouring worlds of life.Notable worlds include Vortex XII, where he murdered fellow Mechanicus Magi by launching a cycolnic torpedo into its unstable core and triggering an implosion that destroyed the planet completely. What an asshole.

The jerk didn't stop at that. When he's supposed to save the Adepta Sororitas on Nightlock Prime, who had rallied in their cathedral in Saintwall against Chaos forces, he up and left them all because he found a species of silicoid life in the soil of Saintwall. Bloody bastard.

He even pissed off the Knights of House Raven with his brutal and inhumane measures, and one couldn't bear the douchebag he just left and became a Freeblade called Strident Ghost, aiming to get in the way of Magos Ozmerhadus Phal and his plans of extinction. By the way, House Raven almost came to blows with him on Tylos Deep and the Lastholm Worlds. Don't blame them, I'm going to send my Skitarii and Knights after him.

Unfortunately, lore-wise, the madman's still loose in the galaxy, seeking to purge more life from the universe. The good news is that the Fabricator General of Metalica and the Lord of House Raven have sent him in the direction of the Empire of Charadon to fight against Orks. Let's hope he dies painfully at the hands of Orks, the guy needs to get dissected by Painboyz. I can't believe I'm supporting the Orks to kill a fellow Magos. What Heresy.

I think that's it for the three stories of the Adeptus Mechanicus fluff. I'll purchase the Skitarii Painting Guide: Legions of the Omnissiah one day and see what I can do. If it has more fluff in it, I'll write about it!

For the Omnissiah!